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Computer Virus Page

ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couples of bytes out of your Apple.

AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

AT&T VIRUS: Every 3 minutes it tells you what a great service you are getting.

BOB DOLE VIRUS: Could be virulent, but it's been around too long to be much of a threat.

COLIN POWELL VIRUS: Makes it's presence known but doesn't do anything. Secretly you wish it would.

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up and the screen splits in half with the same message appearing on each side. The message says that the blame for the gridlock is caused by the other side.

DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Thier is sumthing rong with yur koputer, but ewe cant figyur outt watt!

ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy; then self destructs only to surface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing; but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.

FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying it's own motherboard.

GALLUP VIRUS: 60% of the PC's infected will lose 30% of their data 14% of the time (plus or minus a 3.5% margin of error).

GEORGE BUSH VIRUS: It starts by boldly stating; "Read my docs...No New Files!" on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congressional Virus.

GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong and sends you a bill for $4,500.00.

HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS: Files disappear, only to reappear mysteriously a year later; in another directory.

JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS: Your program can never be found again.

KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.

MCI VIRUS: Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you are paying to much for the AT&T virus.

NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot people really mad just thinking about it.

NIKE VIRUS: Just does it.

O.J. SIMPSON VIRUS: You know it's guilty of trashing your system, but you just can't prove it.

OLLIE NORTH VIRUS: Causes your printer to become a paper shredder.

ORAL ROBERTS VIRUS: Causes your computer to demand a million dollars or it will die.

PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS: Your system works fine, but complains loudly about foreign software.

PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This virus doesn't horse around, warns you of impending attack. Once if by LAN, twice if by C.

PBS VIRUS: Your program stops running every few minutes to ask for money.

POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never identifies itself as a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism".

ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component inyour system, just before the whole thing quits.

SEARS VIRUS: Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply and shocks.

STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.

STEVE FORBES VIRUS: All files reported as the same size.

TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

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This page was last changed November 22, 1997

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