Apple: Well if you don't know what an apple is, I ain't tellin'.
Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter.
Log Off: Don't add any more wood.
Prompt: What you wish the mail was in mud season.
Windows: What to shut when it's 30 below.
Monitor: Keep an eye on the wood stove.
Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.
Mega Hertz: When yer not careful downloadin' (watch th' toes!).
Floppy Disk: Whatcha get from pilin' too much firewood.
Disk Operating System: The equipment the Doc uses when you have a flop disk.
RAM: The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work.
Hard Drive: Gettin' home in mud season.
Screen: What you need for black fly season.
Byte: What black flies do.
Chip: What to munch on.
Micro Chip: What's left in the bag when the chips are gone.
Infrared: where the leftovers go when Fred's around.
Modem: What you did to the hay fields.
Dot Matrix: John Matrix's wife.
Printer: Someone who can't write in cursive.
Lap Top: Where little kids and dogs feel comfy.
Keyboard: Where you hang your keys.
Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils.
486: One of them fancy imported cars.
Mouse: What eats the horses' grain in the barn.
Main Frame: The part of the barn that holds the roof up.
Port: Fancy wine.
Enter: C'mon in!
Random Access Memory: When you suddenly can't remember how much that new rifle costs when your wife asks.
Digital: Like those numbers that flip on your alarm clock.
Program: What's on the TV when there's good reception.