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Jethro's Guide to Computer Terminology

Apple: Well if you don't know what an apple is, I ain't tellin'.

Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter.

Log Off: Don't add any more wood.

Prompt: What you wish the mail was in mud season.

Windows: What to shut when it's 30 below.

Monitor: Keep an eye on the wood stove.

Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.

Mega Hertz: When yer not careful downloadin' (watch th' toes!).

Floppy Disk: Whatcha get from pilin' too much firewood.

Disk Operating System: The equipment the Doc uses when you have a flop disk.

RAM: The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work.

Hard Drive: Gettin' home in mud season.

Screen: What you need for black fly season.

Byte: What black flies do.

Chip: What to munch on.

Micro Chip: What's left in the bag when the chips are gone.

Infrared: where the leftovers go when Fred's around.

Modem: What you did to the hay fields.

Dot Matrix: John Matrix's wife.

Printer: Someone who can't write in cursive.

Lap Top: Where little kids and dogs feel comfy.

Keyboard: Where you hang your keys.

Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils.

486: One of them fancy imported cars.

Mouse: What eats the horses' grain in the barn.

Main Frame: The part of the barn that holds the roof up.

Port: Fancy wine.

Enter: C'mon in!

Random Access Memory: When you suddenly can't remember how much that new rifle costs when your wife asks.

Digital: Like those numbers that flip on your alarm clock.

Program: What's on the TV when there's good reception.

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This page was last changed on November 23, 1997.

Associated Pages

Yesterday: A Song for Our Times
Eleanor: Another Song for Our Times
Unix Man: Still Another Song for Our Times
Let It Be: One Last Song for Our Times
Something: Yet Another Song for Our Times
True Story: A True Crime Story
Nerd Watch: Nerd Watch
BG Speech: A Speech by "Bill Gates"
Quotes: Some Famous Quotes
Computer Terms: Computer Acronyms
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