THE QUESTIONS
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Why do men like love at first sight?
Answer: It saves them a lot of time.
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A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Answer: Dating children.
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What should you give a man who has everything?
Answer: A woman to show him how to work it.
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Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
Answer: To stop the snoring before it starts.
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Why don't men have mid-life crises?
Answer: They stay stuck in adolescence.
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How does a man show he's planning for the future?
Answer: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
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How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
Answer: At the circus the clowns don't talk.
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What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
Answer: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
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Why do bachelors like smart women?
Answer: Opposites attract.
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Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
Answer: They're hard to get started, emit foul odours, and don't work half the time.
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How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer: One. Men will screw anything!
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How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
Answer: We don't know-it's never happened.
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How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
Answer: He's breathing.
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What's the difference between men and government bonds?
Answer: Bonds mature.
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How do you save a man from drowning?
Answer: Take your foot off his head.
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Why are blonde jokes so short?
Answer: So men can remember them.
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What do men and beer bottles have in common?
Answer: They're both empty from the neck up.
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What's a man's idea of foreplay?
Answer: A half hour of begging.
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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
Answer: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
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Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Answer: Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.
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