Why do men like love at first sight?
Answer: It saves them a lot of time.
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Answer: Dating children.
What should you give a man who has everything?
Answer: A woman to show him how to work it.
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
Answer: To stop the snoring before it starts.
Why don't men have mid-life crises?
Answer: They stay stuck in adolescence.
How does a man show he's planning for the future?
Answer: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
Answer: At the circus the clowns don't talk.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
Answer: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why do bachelors like smart women?
Answer: Opposites attract.
Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
Answer: They're hard to get started, emit foul odours, and don't work half the time.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer: One. Men will screw anything!
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
Answer: We don't know-it's never happened.
How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
Answer: He's breathing.
What's the difference between men and government bonds?
Answer: Bonds mature.
How do you save a man from drowning?
Answer: Take your foot off his head.
Why are blonde jokes so short?
Answer: So men can remember them.
What do men and beer bottles have in common?
Answer: They're both empty from the neck up.
What's a man's idea of foreplay?
Answer: A half hour of begging.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
Answer: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Answer: Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.
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